Happy Anniversary, Denise

Today, May 19, marks our 37th wedding anniversary.  On that Saturday evening in May, 37 years ago, Denise Rose Bos and James Craig Ackerman became Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman.

It was a great day, and I can’t imagine having made a different decision on a life partner.  There’s a song from the Lerner and Loewe musical Brigadoon entitled “There But For You Go I”.  I remember singing this song as Tommy to Fiona in our high school production in the fall of 1970.  I don’t think I’ve ever sung it as Jim to Denise, but I should have.   The lyrics go something like this:

This is hard to say, but as I wandered through the lea,
I felt for just a fleeting moment that
I suddenly was free of being lonely.
Then I closed my eyes and saw the very reason why.

I saw a man with his head bowed low.
His heart had no place to go.
I looked and I thought to myself with a sigh:
There but for you go I.

I saw a man walking by the sea,
Alone with the tide was he.
I looked and I thought as I watched him go by:
There but for you go I.

Lonely men around me, trying not to cry,
Till the day you found me, there among them was I.

I saw a man who had never known a love that was all his own.
I thought as I thanked all the stars in the sky:
There, but for you, go I.

It hasn’t been all that easy, we were both very strong-willed.  Actually, the only reason we were able to make it this far is because we were committed to honoring God in our marriage and in our lives, and by His grace we have been able to do that.  We made a commitment to God and a commitment to each other, and determined that we had no choice but to love each other, even when we had differences of opinion.  It was a matter of neither of us taking control, but rather relinquishing control and letting God have control of our lives individually and as a couple.  You know, it’s still a struggle for me on a daily basis.

There’s another song that fits in well here, and it’s been a favorite of ours for some time.  It’s sung by Larnelle Harris, and is titled “Were It Not For Grace”.  It’s another “what if” scenario, but on a much grander scale.  The chorus tells the story:

We’ve been a few places together.  We’ve lived in Michigan most of our lives, starting and raising our young family in Bath, but spent some time in Kansas (Overland Park and Lawrence), Pennsylvania (Newtown and Feasterville), and the Chicago area (Glendale Heights) before moving back to Michigan, first to Grand Rapids and then Topinabee.  Wherever we’ve been, we’ve found that God was there before we were, preparing the way for us and working out the details.  I don’t know why that always surprised us.

At every stop God had already planted people so they could step into our lives to help us.  Whether it was the family and friends pictured here, who were a part of our start together, a small group Bible study with Jeff and Martha Rudd in Overland Park, homemade gnocchi at the Bruders’ or singing around the grand piano with Ed and Elaine Eichner in Feasterville, there was no end of encouragers in our life at every stop.

This will be a tough anniversary.  It is the first we will celebrate without Denise’s mother close by.  It seems like wherever we were, Mom was pretty close to lift us up and provide whatever words of encouragement we needed.

Happy anniversary, Denise!  I love you.